Just Keep Living
by ryan91
Summary: Ryan finds a letter from Marissa, after she died.


He sat with his legs crossed on the floor. It felt so awkward being in here without her, almost painful. Butterflies fluttered within him, as he opened the box, surprised by its contents: pictures, movie tickets, letters, notes and cards. He went through them slowly, each one bringing back a memory. When he reached the bottom of the box, he found an envelope. In her recognizable cursive writing, he saw his name scrawled lovingly. _Ryan._ He hardly cried. Only on two occasions, one when she died in his arms and now. The intensity of this one letter caused tears to roll down his cheeks. He couldn't read it. He had almost accepted it, her absence. This would make it all too hard. So he pocketed it, stood up, wiped his tears away with the back of his hand, clenched his jaw, and walked emotionlessly out of the room.

_10 years later_

"Ryan Atwood, you better not be watching T.V!" His hand darted to the remote, switching off the football game frantically.

"Uh…I'm not, just getting ready." He replied jumping to the closet and changing as quickly as he could into his tux. The beautiful blonde excited the bathroom looking extravagant. Her light blue dress accentuating her eyes, her hair done up elegantly and a wave of perfume trailing her. She peered into the closet and rolled her eyes, placed her hands on her hips and scolded her husband.

"I told you to get ready an hour ago. We can't be late." Ryan smiled sheepishly at his wife and gave her a heart warming look, pulling her into his arms and kissing her gently, trying to make her forget she was mad at him.

"Ryan, not now, we are going to be late!" she said as she struggled against his charm. Just then, a little boy and girl ran into their parent's room. The two lovers pulled apart and smiled lovingly at their children. Kate kneeled down so she was eye level with her son. While straitening his little bow tie she cooed, "You look so handsome Jack." Marissa spun around and curtsied for her dad, showing off her little pink dress.

"Do you like my dress Daddy? It has flowshers."

He scooped her up, "I love your floWERS," planting a kiss on her nose, while she giggled. Kate took both of the kids by the hand and gave Ryan a look,

"You have two minutes." He pulled on his jacket and fiddled with his tie, trying to figure out how to tie it. He still had trouble. After a few unsuccessful attempts, he finally got it on. He rifled through his sock draw, trying to find the black sock that matched its pair. As he reached the back of the draw, his hand hit a hard object. Curious and forgetting about the time, he reached and pulled it out. When he opened it he found something that had almost been forgotten. The letter. His heart stopped beating for a second and he slid down to the ground in shock. He never read it. In one quick motion he tore it open after ten long years. A rectangular object fell out and he turned it around curiously. His mouth fell open. It was the birthday present he never received, the model home mix. He held it as if it was the most precious thing in the world, biting his lip, to stop the tears from falling. He turned the envelop upside down and found a smaller, heavy envelope. He opened it hesitantly and found a letter. When he opened it to read it, the first thing he noticed was the key held to the paper by a piece of tape. Curious, he started reading:

_Ryan, _

_In this envelope are all the things I could never bring myself to give you. The model home mix, the present that held so many memories and questions, this letter, and the key. In a way, when it comes to you, I'm a coward, because you are my greatest weakness. I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry. Sorry for all the pain I caused you and all the drama you had to go through. I want you to know how grateful I am that you are in my life. I don't know if I would be alive, if it weren't for you. Not only have you saved me a countless number of times, you gave me hope. I planned on giving this to you later, much later, after college probably, because if I gave it to you now, you might be confused or scared. Most guys are scared when girls start talking about the future, but the truth is I've always imagined it being with you. When my grandmother passed away, my dad's mom, she left me a whole lot of money. She said I would get it when I was eighteen and I did. So now, two days before graduation, I went out to the model home and bought it. I know you think that might be a bit…grand, but I knew that one day when we were together, we would live there. That's why I planned to give you this letter after we are engaged or something. I hope that would happen. I know we were always, on again off again, but in the end I have hope in the two of us and I hope you do too. So here it, the key to the model home, possibly the key to our future. Thanks Ryan. For everything. _

_Love _

_Marissa_

Ryan read and re-read the letter, tears prickling the corner of his eyes. Suddenly, his serene surrounding were interrupted by his wife. She started to tell him of, when she noticed the tears filling his eyes. She leaned in and held him in a hug. Glancing at the letter, she knew what it was about. Kate never questioned Marissa. She knew that he loved her and respected that. She also knew that he lover his wife and his family and that Marissa was a part of his life she had to accept; she even suggested naming their daughter after her. Kate was not a jealous woman but a kind one. So she comforted her husband and assured him that they didn't need to go to this party. However, Ryan being the brave soul he was, stood up and followed his wife, giving her a smile of thanks and comfort. That night they celebrated Marissa's life. It was the anniversary of her death. So it became tradition, that every year, on this night, he would go to the model home and place a bouquet of flowers in the empty house, for the death of his love and the death of their love. Then he would take a deep breath, accept the past, and go home to his family, for one reason only: To just keep living, just as she wanted.


End file.
